day #4 - The day went pretty smoothly actually - I wore my  "new"
beige size 14 pants I got yesterday along with a loose faux animal
print blouse - it was an experiment - I'm not sure how successful the look
was - but I have to keep trying things because I only have so many outfits.

 I started the day  doing some typing practice then we had to in a group of
three get in front of the class and talk a bit and I got a little defensive, which
isn't going to show as defensiveness -instead when I am defensive I start
using a more masculine voice and mannersims -so I was dressed like a
girl but I was nervous so I basically acted like a guy -but I said what I
needed to say and did it clearly and intelligently -I just wish I had
presented myself more as a female person - but being in front of a group
is tough and I got through it -so they saw the guy me more than I'd like,
but that's OK I'm still very new at this being a woman at school and there
will be lapses like that -it really didn't bother me and another woman smiled
with encouragement as I walked back to my seat - I got through it and did
well and next time I'll get through it and do well and sound more like a woman
(and smile more).

So kind of funny but I got the official word that the old job is starting up
again - I was in the womans restroom, sitting down, and seeing who the
call was from I answer in my guy voice and talk about starting this job
again -luckily the restroom was empty - but I said I'd agree to work
part-time and they said I'd start Thursday and so it was all set.

Now I was unemployed to enter this program, but nothing in the documents
said I had to remain unemployed, so I figured I better find out for sure,
and yes I have to remain unemployed for the duration  of the training,
but then I got some really good news because phase two of the training
now starts July 2nd ( not Aug 21st) and ends Sept 21st (not November 9th)
and moving everything up 2 months like that really makes it a lot easier to get
through this program - but it also means that there won't be the long gap
between the two programs and that I won't be working at night as a guy
(I can't work at all) so I will in July now be spending 8 hours a day -four
days a week as a trans woman in a training program , and realistically
I will go out in the morning dressed as a woman, come home take a shower
and take off my makeup, put on some androgynous shirt and pants, say hi to
my dad, go downstairs to my room, put on my panties and negligee and go
bed or else put on a dress and go out - I mean realistically I'm basically
going to be full time in July -which is unbelievable - without hormones or
anything I'm going to get to see what full-time is like. Yeah!!!!



I went to the Arboretum after class and walked around a bit then went home
and right now when I go home I change back into guy clothes -then I
ran a bunch of errands and took my dog to the vet for a routine thing.

I'd like to go out to a gay bar and go dancing tonight but I really can't affford to
go out without any job anytime soon and besides I don't feel like getting all dolled
up again today -it's a lot of work -not that I'm complaining but getting
dressed twice in a day-if I could do it and not spend any money I'd do it ,
but I really can't afford it, sigh

anyways tomorrow I'm going to a jam and an airshow then dress up
en femme and go to an art fair, see my friend at the hospital then if there's
 time go to the church group at 6:30pm so it should be a fun day