Thursday, October 25, 2012

I got a job! I am really, really happy right
now and very relieved.  This was for a position
I interviewed for late last week and she called me 
back and offered me the job and of course I said
"yes! thank you."  

So I will doing maintenance and working 25 hours
per week part-time, but with my desire to pursue my 
musical career (such as it is) and at least a little bit helping
my parents out and taking care of my dog,  part-time is
totally cool - I'll still have some free time and as poor as I've 
been I'll feel as rich as Romney when I cash my first check
as Stacy.  

As a place of employment it is really amazing - even though
I haven't changed my name or gender marker yet, they are
going to introduce me as Stacy and refer to me as she 
and then later on I'll go to court and get the legal name change
and gender marker changed and all that and get a bank account in
my name (Stacy) and file my taxes next year as a woman -the whole 
thing is kind of staggering 

so yeah, I don't know what to say - I'm really happy
it's been really scary looking for a job as a transwoman,
and as much as you try to tell yourself it's not impossible,
it really did seem like it was totally impossible sometimes -
a lot of times actually,

until you get a job of course - then you can look back and say 
of course you can do it - I did.  :)

so I got a job!

OK honestly this really is my last post -I've been blogging  
about before I even wore a dress in years on my first blog
"Transformative Honeymoons", then a year ago in October
I went out in public for the first time and I wrote about that
and pretty much every subsequent time I've gone out dressed
as a woman, up until the time I started school (dressed as 
woman) for maintenance training and then every time I
applied for a job (always dressed as a woman) in
this blog "Who's the New Girl?" and now I finally
got a job and it's kind of amazing that I did this,
and I'm sort of glad that I did document my 
experiences so completely and as it happened
because it is a very detailed record of my transition.

but really I'm not writing a blog about being a woman 
going to work putting on her makeup and going to work 
five days a week - I mean  I'm the same as anybody else 
now - I get up and go to work and live my life, 
and try to be happy :)

Good bye, This time  I mean it

Take Care


Thursday, October 18, 2012

I got a couple rejections today on interviews I was trying to set up
and the second interview fell thru - I'm trying to set up an interview
based on a phone interview, and that's from my linked in account
which has my photo - with lipstick and mascara - so we never mentioned
my being trans, but I think it's pretty obvious from the photo and
it'll be really obvious in a face-to-face interview:

so it's tough and frustrating, and I'm really broke, so I need to focus on finding
a job and it's not fun writing about it anymore -this will be my final post

Take Care,


Sunday, October 14, 2012

Go Vikes!  it's a late game so its 3-0 Vikes now early in the 1st quarter.  
So my weekly Sunday post  - Church was fun - I was in the choir again,
and afterwards the Trans group had a professional make-up guy come
in and give some makeup pointers (including some free samples and 
brushes, so that was fun) afterwards I changed back to boy mode
and jogged my three miles with my very lazy dog  (who did not jog
with me but she did play with the other dogs) 
So far I don't have any interviews scheduled next week - and nobody
seems terribly interested in my job hunting as a woman, so I won't
bore you, but the top picture is what I wore when my recruiter 
suggested I wear slacks to an interview which will probably
lead to a second interview next week (6 - 0 Vikes!) so something
like that is not at all masculine -but it was considered very appropriate
for a business interview (Viking interception!) 

The biggest thing I've noticed is nobody talks about me presenting as a woman,
and so you have to be prepared for presenting yourself as a person who is 
qualified for the job, because you will spend exactly 0 seconds talking about 
being trans -literally it's not mentioned and if they don't bring it up, you 
don't bring it up -not if you want the job (Vikes 9 -0!)
The second picture is my rather humorous results for the pop cultural
Cogiati test - I do think a lot like a woman but I'm not that effeminate 
by a long shot.

My church is celebrating 44 years and as the pastor tells it the founder
after being thrown out of two churches for being gay, tried to commit suicide 
and failed.  A neighbor told him obviously God isn't finished with you, now you 
can either sit around feeling sorry for yourself, or figure out what it is God wants
you to do

When I was much younger, I made a personal oath to God that I wouldn't 
kill myself  before I was 50, but then all bet's were off if I wasn't a woman by then - 
I turned 50 a couple years ago, and staring at 50  as a 280 pound severely depressed
man I knew I had to try and transition even though I knew it was impossible and I 
didn't have a clue how to go about it and I just wasn't ready (and the truth is you 
will always be not ready) -anyways it wasn't impossible, and it it's been a lot better 
than I thought it'd be by a long shot (Vikes 9 -3) and I do genuinely believe that for 
whatever reason this is what God intended me to do
PS - Go Vikes, 

Update -to quote ET -"ouch!"

Saturday, October 13, 2012

for folks in the Minneapolis area - I went to production of 
the Mixed Blood Theaters "Next to Normal" -and because of 
their Radical Hospitality program it is free -and very well done.
The play is a serious musical about a woman with bipolar disorder
(and other issues, at one point she attempts suicide in the play)
It is really well written, and the right mix of not too simplistic or
superficial and not too serious and dreary -it's really quite good
and a lot more moving than I was expecting - or as I proudly told 
a trans friend who met me at the play -"it was really a lot more powerful,
than I was expecting, but I didn't least my mascara didn't run" 
and her response "Thank God for waterproof mascara" - 
anyways, it's really good and like I said its free
(if you have the money of course you should buy tickets,
but if you don't, it's totally free, no questions asked)

here's the link:

Oh, I wore a black skirt, the purple velvet top and black pumps,
and walking the brick pathway to the entrance is it's own
adventure in heels

Thursday, October 11, 2012

OOPS! - 1 year ago I went out in public fully dressed as
a woman for the first time in my life -and my life hasn't
been the same since then -  -today I am going out dressed
as a woman to a job interview, and have been on hormones
about two and a half months and while I am not full-time
(because I have to present as a man at home) -I am very
close to being able to live and work as a woman (I have
an interview today, I am scheduling a second interview for
another job that I have a really good shot at) -I've gone
back for about four months of full-time schooling and
I presented as a woman for that -so I've almost achieved
a goal I've dreamed of my whole life.  As I mentioned
when I accept the offer which hopefully will be soon,
I will be terminating this blog -because I want to keep
a separation between my personal life as a woman,
and the internet, and there really is nothing unusual about
me working every day and every other woman or man who
goes to work five days a week

So anyways, one year ago  (well technically one year ago
plus a day or two -like I said, OOPS I forgot my own
anniversery) I went to the Townhouse
for the monthly crossgender club meeting and was dressed
up and here's the text of my posting from my old blog
Transformative Honeymoons:

I did it.  I went out in public in a skirt, and it was really, really nice.
I was a little nervous when I got the bar. Sitting in my truck thinking
it was time to get out and walk from the parking lot to the entrance
I definately felt some fear, but my 4" pumps are so tight, that really
I was thinking more about my feet as I walked to the entrance.

There were several people sitting outside, and I knew I was being
reviewed, but what I saw was guys looking and smiling, one
guy saying hi, and stuff, and I walk in the door.

So inside there's a guy at a table and a short line, so I thought there
was a cover, but it was some kind of drink deal - I didn't quite
get what the deal was, partly because I was nervous, and
he was giving a brief explanation sprinkled with dear's and darling's
and lady's and things like that and I felt a little silly, but honestly he was
just being nice and acknowledgeing that I'd obviously put in a lot
of time and effort tonight to get all dolled up and be able to present
myself as a woman.  Nobody's ever called me a lady and things
like that before, but he was being nice, and I really should have
expected it, going into a Gay bar.  I'm really sure I can get used to this,
if it ever happens again, but this time I felt a little silly, but I'm thinking
I'm in a skirt and wig and heels and makeup and everything, going
into a Gay bar and a guy is calling me a lady, well what else should he
be calling me? Seriously.  I was a little dazed actually, and still nervous
and getting my bearings -next time it happens I'll smile at him and thank
him for the compliment.  Anyways so I opened my purse and took out
some money and got a couple cups for drinks, then walked over to the
bar and got a Pepsi (no Coke, Pepsi at this bar), and took my drink and
walked into the piano lounge room.  There were enough people in the bar
that I could tell I ws being noticed.  But from what I saw, it was just a casual
glance over at me, a bit of a smile - I just got my heels a few days ago, and
while I have practiced, I'm not really walking like a girl yet -and I think the
hint of amusement I was noticing was about the 4" heels.  Certainly I was
very aware of my heels as I walked through the bar and into the piano lounge
where the meeting was being held.  There were about 7 or 8 girls there and
I sat down with them, which is really, really nice.  Here I am my first time
out in public and I'm sitting down with other girls like me, and just listening
and talking a bit (I decided not to try my girly voice yet, but I think I want
to use my female voice next time go out, which hopefully I can show enough
restraint to last a couple days until I need to go out again - it's funny, but
when I got home I really didn't want to take my skirt off, so I took the dog
and drove over to a park, and walked around and cars passed by and a
bike rider rode by, and a couple walked passed me, and nobody said anything
or really seemed to notice or care, and you have no idea how nice that is
That's all I want, really I don't care that I'm not thin and beautiful and all that,
but if people can just walk by and accept that this is who I want to be -
how wonderul! - I'm sorry back to my narrative,
so after I'd been there a few minutes, I asked one of the girls to take my
picture, so Yeah!!!! That is me first time out in public - you have no idea
what a milestone in my life this is - I 'm still getting a grasp of it, because
at the time it was all so natural, and it seemed like no big deal, no earth shaking,
monumental, life changing event -but it was, and I'm totally off topic on my
narrative now, so anyways we talked, actually I listened mostly, it was a lovely
evening, of course I'll do it again, and they're arranging a Haloween event at
a local resteraunt, and so I have to figure out my Halloween costume!
I am totally open for suggestions, leave a comment if you have a good idea
for a costume, because I garauntee you, I really had not been planning on
being invinted to a Halloween party where I could dress up as a girl and
wear a costume, and hang around and chat with people like me and
everything - Oh my, it just sounds fantastic, and I haven't worn a costume
on Haloween since I was 10 years old.

Anyways some pictures of me one at the bar the others afterwards when
I got home, sorry about the throne, but obviously I'm just using it as a chair.
I'll throw in a couple rerun captions too, for the people who just want to
read the captions and move on

So I did it! And I am so very glad that I did, and now it's no big deal and
one moves on to the next hurdle. I'll go to church as a boy in a couple hours,
but my church still welcomes me regardless of what I would wear - I wouldn't
go to a church that didn't feel that away about trans people and cross dressers.
Then I'll go out jamming dressed as a guy (note how now I have to say this because
dressing as a guy sand going out and dressing as a girl and going out are both
realistic options for me now - and that is so very, very, amazing), and then
I'll go to work dressed as a boy, and that is not a choice, I dress as a boy
for work. But I think of myself as blessed for having this job, and having
a job made going out tonight possible so things are good.

Take Care,


Update - today's interview went very well -curiously I have yet to do one
of these interviews were anyone mentions that I'm dressed as a woman
(maybe they don't notice?) I' m kidding but I was there for forty minutes
and the two men asked a lot questions and seemed interested and
so I have a good chance of getting a second interview, but nothing was
promised when I left so I keep actively looking, of course.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Go Vikes! the game hasn't started yet.  I sang in the choir today at church
-which was fun and not nearly as terrifying as I thought it'd be.
Last week the Pastor mentioned how there were no Trans people
in the choir, and so I fixed that problem.  I'm in the Tenor section
and practice is at 8, the service is at 10 and afterwards one goes
downstairs for a coffee and a salad and snack and chats a bit,
so it's a long day -but being in the choir makes the service go at
light speed.   Oh by the way, in case you wondered the people
who sing in the choir still have to pass the offering plate -we do
it during the sermon not the offeratory - but we don't get off
the hook that easy - oh well,

After service I walked around the arboreteum and then
drove the three mile loop for the fall color, which was nice
and I came at a good time because as I was leaving it got
really crowded.  I'm going back to the church for the blessing
of the pets and taking screwball with me to get her blessed.
So I'll miss the start of the Vikes game but I'll listen to it
on the way home and watch the end.

I thought writing a blog about looking for work as a trans
person would be a lot more interesting than it has turned out
to be -the truth of the matter is that I have been going to interviews
and some people are open to my being trans and some people
aren't but there is absolutely no reason, from my experience, not to
put on a nice skirt or a nice pair of slacks and makeup and walk
into an interview and expect to be treated respectfully, regardless
of what people may think, and the good companies are looking
for the best people and trans people can be the best people if
they apply themselves -so the point being, there really is no
significant difference between going to an interview dressed as
a man or dressed as a woman  -it's just not a big deal

So the basic premise of this blog, that there is something interesting
about me, a trans woman, looking for a job is flawed -I'm the same
as every body else - I just have better fashion sense

I'll still post once a week (on Sunday during Viking games - Go Vikes!)
but otherwise, I'm better off spending the time making phone calls,

Monday Update: A friend from school just got a part-time job YEAH!
I didn't hear back as a follow up on my last interview, I'll call back wed

Tuesday I see my psychiatrist and work the MNUnited phone banks a bit,
Wednesday I am going to a Job Fair
Thursday I have an interview set up
Friday is open so far
Saturday I'm seeing the Live Met broadcast of the Opera with my parents
Sunday I go to church (early now that I'm in the choir)

Next posting Sunday, unless I hear something

Wednesday Update -Tuesday saw my psychiatrist and then
spent the evening working the phone lines for MN United against
the marriage amendment - I wound up making about 30 calls recruiting
1 volunteer, getting 3 more people to commit to volunteering at other
locations (so someone has to call them back because I didn't have that
information) getting 4 wrong numbers, a whole host of not homes
(which was the most frustrating calls for me) and getting a person
who was giving me the religious arguments against children and gay
marriage, but as a trans person, I started talking about young trans
people who "try to celebrate there masculinity" as she put it and end up
committing suicide, and while I didn't change her mind on the amendment,
I at least got her to recognize that it's a lot better for young children who
are questioning their identity to have access to help adjusting than to
committing suicide -which is all too common in young trans people -
obviously the discussion detoured from the marriage issue to issues that
really matter to me and it was really striking how superficial these
arguments where when I mentioned that I had struggled with this for
years and knew several people who had tried to commit suicide and that
I now felt that in accepting that becoming  a woman was what God wanted
from me and she asked why would God want that, and I responded
honestly - "I don't know" but I went on to say that in trying to seek
help with this and trying to be a good person and living honestly that
I did think I was living the life I was meant to live - which is true and
I don't think she was convinced, but it's still the truth and so that's
kind of staid with me , that and I had tio park on the other side of Loring
Park and there was no way I was walking through Loring Park at 10 at night
so I wound up making a long walk in my skirt and heels on the sidewalks
and that was a little unpleasant (nobody bothered me it was just cold and
dark and too far to walk in heels)
Wednesday I went to the Job Fair and dropped off one resume so that
was pointless, then I went to a Open House for a recruiter and talked a bit
and dropped off a resume - and that was more useful -I wore a really
nice stretchy black skirt  - more an above the knees business skirt,
which is a little tight and long enough till one sits down, then it feels
really short - but with the purple velvet blouse and black pumps it
is a very nice outfit - I did get a call on Fridays interview
and there's going to be a SECOND INTERVIEW, but I just
have to wait to find out when - but that's looking very promising

Saturday, October 6, 2012

I think the  next time I hear "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam
and Steve!" argument I'm coming back with "Yes but Jesus never
got married and slept with men" - which is completely factual,
and every bit as idiotic as her statement.

anyways I'm in drab today (ie dressed as a guy) - but I got to
thinking about the first dress I ever had - a size 12, paisley print
thing, that was stored in a box in the crawl space of my parents home.
I stumbled upon it accidentaly obviously:

it had rhinestones sewn in which I totally hated and spent a lot of time taking
those off, but at the time I first stumbled upon it - I remember the total thrill
as my pulse raced and my heart was pounding in my head -I immediately
went to the bathroom to try it on and it fit,  and I felt wonderful, this was in
early  October, add I was so excited and so overwhelmed by it all that I almost
did  put the dress on and go  out for Halloween that year (if I had a wig too, I'm
sure I would have) but in the end I chickened out -one, two or three years later
I remember actually taking a black skirt, a green pullover and panty hose in a brown
bag, boarding the train to Chicago and getting off (at Montrose?) finding a secluded
spot putting on the skirt and all (I was wearing tennis shoes -yuck) and walking
around a city block - a number of cars passed me and I walked past three guys
who initial reaction wasn't negative but one of them looked at my crotch area
which was erect and said "Oh gross" or something like that as they walked by,
so that horrible and I got back to where I'd left my clothes and changed back
into guy clothes and a minute or two later a squad car was driving by and at that
time one could get arrested for cross dressing in public, and I've always felt that
had I stayed dress a minute or two longer my life would have changed for ever
as a result of that arrest.  Anyways I remember the song My little town" by
Paul Simon had just come out and I really loved the lyrics and was singing the
lyrics in my head as I walked down the street :

In my little town 
I grew up believing 
God keeps his eye on us all 
And he used to lean upon me 
As I pledged allegiance to the wall 
Lord I recall my little town 
Coming home after school 
Riding my bike past the gates of the factories 
My mom doing the laundry 
Hanging out shirts in the dirty breeze 
And after it rains there's a rainbow 
And all of the colors are black 
It's not that the colors aren't there 
It's just imagination they lack 
Everything's the same back in my little town 

In my little town I never meant nothing 
I was just my father's son 
Saving my money 
Dreamin of glory 
Twitching like a finger on a trigger of a gun 

Nothing but the dead and dying back in my little town 
Nothing but the dead and dying back in my little town 
Nothing but the dead and dying back in my little town

so I Google, it and it's a 1975 song -which means I was 16

at the time, which means I was probably 13 or 14 when
I was wearing my first dress, but I had been wearing slips 
and pantyhose for several years before that -that was what
was so exciting about the dress -you can't wear a slip and
pantyhose out in public - but a dress I could actually see
myself going out in public as a woman, and that was really
exciting to me -so going back it was a long, long time between
the time I first put on a slip and the time I first wore a dress,
but it's hard to believe it was five years, it was certainly long
before my first male emission, several years before that
(because I was wearing a slip when that happened  spontaneously
So I've said I was 9 the  first time I wore woman's  clothing,
but actually I was probably 10 or 11.  Now I do remember 
sitting in the bathroom in a black slip and pantyhose reading
the Last Whole Earth Catalog (which was published is the
spring of 1971) and I would have been dressing for some 
time then -so that would again back that I was dressing in 1971/72
(when I was 12, but had been doing so for some time) so
I'm thinking it was 1969/1970, and I was 10 years old when I first started
dressing and wanting to be a woman - forty two years ago, wow
it just seems like forever