I got a job! I am really, really happy right

now and very relieved.  This was for a position

I interviewed for late last week and she called me 

back and offered me the job and of course I said

"yes! thank you."  

So I will doing maintenance and working 25 hours

per week part-time, but with my desire to pursue my 

musical career (such as it is) and at least a little bit helping

my parents out and taking care of my dog,  part-time is

totally cool - I'll still have some free time and as poor as I've 

been I'll feel as rich as Romney when I cash my first check

as Stacy.  

As a place of employment it is really amazing - even though

I haven't changed my name or gender marker yet, they are

going to introduce me as Stacy and refer to me as she 

and then later on I'll go to court and get the legal name change

and gender marker changed and all that and get a bank account in

my name (Stacy) and file my taxes next year as a woman -the whole 

thing is kind of staggering 

so yeah, I don't know what to say - I'm really happy

it's been really scary looking for a job as a transwoman,

and as much as you try to tell yourself it's not impossible,

it really did seem like it was totally impossible sometimes -

a lot of times actually,

until you get a job of course - then you can look back and say 

of course you can do it - I did.  :)

so I got a job!

OK honestly this really is my last post -I've been blogging  

about before I even wore a dress in years on my first blog

"Transformative Honeymoons", then a year ago in October

I went out in public for the first time and I wrote about that

and pretty much every subsequent time I've gone out dressed

as a woman, up until the time I started school (dressed as 

woman) for maintenance training and then every time I

applied for a job (always dressed as a woman) in

this blog "Who's the New Girl?" and now I finally

got a job and it's kind of amazing that I did this,

and I'm sort of glad that I did document my 

experiences so completely and as it happened

because it is a very detailed record of my transition.

but really I'm not writing a blog about being a woman 

going to work putting on her makeup and going to work 

five days a week - I mean  I'm the same as anybody else 

now - I get up and go to work and live my life, 

and try to be happy :)

Good bye, This time  I mean it

Take Care

Stacy 

I got a couple rejections today on interviews I was trying to set up
and the second interview fell thru - I'm trying to set up an interview
based on a phone interview, and that's from my linked in account
which has my photo - with lipstick and mascara - so we never mentioned
my being trans, but I think it's pretty obvious from the photo and
it'll be really obvious in a face-to-face interview:

so it's tough and frustrating, and I'm really broke, so I need to focus on finding
a job and it's not fun writing about it anymore -this will be my final post

Take Care,

Stacy

Go Vikes!  it's a late game so its 3-0 Vikes now early in the 1st quarter.  

So my weekly Sunday post  - Church was fun - I was in the choir again,

and afterwards the Trans group had a professional make-up guy come

in and give some makeup pointers (including some free samples and 

brushes, so that was fun) afterwards I changed back to boy mode

and jogged my three miles with my very lazy dog  (who did not jog

with me but she did play with the other dogs) 

So far I don't have any interviews scheduled next week - and nobody

seems terribly interested in my job hunting as a woman, so I won't

bore you, but the top picture is what I wore when my recruiter 

suggested I wear slacks to an interview which will probably

lead to a second interview next week (6 - 0 Vikes!) so something

like that is not at all masculine -but it was considered very appropriate

for a business interview (Viking interception!) 

The biggest thing I've noticed is nobody talks about me presenting as a woman,

and so you have to be prepared for presenting yourself as a person who is 

qualified for the job, because you will spend exactly 0 seconds talking about 

being trans -literally it's not mentioned and if they don't bring it up, you 

don't bring it up -not if you want the job (Vikes 9 -0!)

The second picture is my rather humorous results for the pop cultural

Cogiati test - I do think a lot like a woman but I'm not that effeminate 

by a long shot.

My church is celebrating 44 years and as the pastor tells it the founder

after being thrown out of two churches for being gay, tried to commit suicide 

and failed.  A neighbor told him obviously God isn't finished with you, now you 

can either sit around feeling sorry for yourself, or figure out what it is God wants

you to do

When I was much younger, I made a personal oath to God that I wouldn't 

kill myself  before I was 50, but then all bet's were off if I wasn't a woman by then - 

I turned 50 a couple years ago, and staring at 50  as a 280 pound severely depressed

man I knew I had to try and transition even though I knew it was impossible and I 

didn't have a clue how to go about it and I just wasn't ready (and the truth is you 

will always be not ready) -anyways it wasn't impossible, and it it's been a lot better 

than I thought it'd be by a long shot (Vikes 9 -3) and I do genuinely believe that for 

whatever reason this is what God intended me to do

PS - Go Vikes, 

Update -to quote ET -"ouch!"

for folks in the Minneapolis area - I went to production of 

the Mixed Blood Theaters "Next to Normal" -and because of 

their Radical Hospitality program it is free -and very well done.

The play is a serious musical about a woman with bipolar disorder

(and other issues, at one point she attempts suicide in the play)

It is really well written, and the right mix of not too simplistic or

superficial and not too serious and dreary -it's really quite good

and a lot more moving than I was expecting - or as I proudly told 

a trans friend who met me at the play -"it was really a lot more powerful,

than I was expecting, but I didn't cry...at least my mascara didn't run" 

and her response "Thank God for waterproof mascara" - 

anyways, it's really good and like I said its free

(if you have the money of course you should buy tickets,

but if you don't, it's totally free, no questions asked)

here's the link:

http://www.mixedblood.com/

Oh, I wore a black skirt, the purple velvet top and black pumps,

and walking the brick pathway to the entrance is it's own

adventure in heels

OOPS! - 1 year ago I went out in public fully dressed as
a woman for the first time in my life -and my life hasn't
been the same since then -  -today I am going out dressed
as a woman to a job interview, and have been on hormones
about two and a half months and while I am not full-time
(because I have to present as a man at home) -I am very
close to being able to live and work as a woman (I have
an interview today, I am scheduling a second interview for
another job that I have a really good shot at) -I've gone
back for about four months of full-time schooling and
I presented as a woman for that -so I've almost achieved
a goal I've dreamed of my whole life.  As I mentioned
when I accept the offer which hopefully will be soon,
I will be terminating this blog -because I want to keep
a separation between my personal life as a woman,
and the internet, and there really is nothing unusual about
me working every day and every other woman or man who
goes to work five days a week

So anyways, one year ago  (well technically one year ago
plus a day or two -like I said, OOPS I forgot my own
anniversery) I went to the Townhouse
for the monthly crossgender club meeting and was dressed
up and here's the text of my posting from my old blog
Transformative Honeymoons:


I did it.  I went out in public in a skirt, and it was really, really nice.
I was a little nervous when I got the bar. Sitting in my truck thinking
it was time to get out and walk from the parking lot to the entrance
I definately felt some fear, but my 4" pumps are so tight, that really
I was thinking more about my feet as I walked to the entrance.

There were several people sitting outside, and I knew I was being
reviewed, but what I saw was guys looking and smiling, one
guy saying hi, and stuff, and I walk in the door.

So inside there's a guy at a table and a short line, so I thought there
was a cover, but it was some kind of drink deal - I didn't quite
get what the deal was, partly because I was nervous, and
he was giving a brief explanation sprinkled with dear's and darling's
and lady's and things like that and I felt a little silly, but honestly he was
just being nice and acknowledgeing that I'd obviously put in a lot
of time and effort tonight to get all dolled up and be able to present
myself as a woman.  Nobody's ever called me a lady and things
like that before, but he was being nice, and I really should have
expected it, going into a Gay bar.  I'm really sure I can get used to this,
if it ever happens again, but this time I felt a little silly, but I'm thinking
I'm in a skirt and wig and heels and makeup and everything, going
into a Gay bar and a guy is calling me a lady, well what else should he
be calling me? Seriously.  I was a little dazed actually, and still nervous
and getting my bearings -next time it happens I'll smile at him and thank
him for the compliment.  Anyways so I opened my purse and took out
some money and got a couple cups for drinks, then walked over to the
bar and got a Pepsi (no Coke, Pepsi at this bar), and took my drink and
walked into the piano lounge room.  There were enough people in the bar
that I could tell I ws being noticed.  But from what I saw, it was just a casual
glance over at me, a bit of a smile - I just got my heels a few days ago, and
while I have practiced, I'm not really walking like a girl yet -and I think the
hint of amusement I was noticing was about the 4" heels.  Certainly I was
very aware of my heels as I walked through the bar and into the piano lounge
where the meeting was being held.  There were about 7 or 8 girls there and
I sat down with them, which is really, really nice.  Here I am my first time
out in public and I'm sitting down with other girls like me, and just listening
and talking a bit (I decided not to try my girly voice yet, but I think I want
to use my female voice next time go out, which hopefully I can show enough
restraint to last a couple days until I need to go out again - it's funny, but
when I got home I really didn't want to take my skirt off, so I took the dog
and drove over to a park, and walked around and cars passed by and a
bike rider rode by, and a couple walked passed me, and nobody said anything
or really seemed to notice or care, and you have no idea how nice that is
That's all I want, really I don't care that I'm not thin and beautiful and all that,
but if people can just walk by and accept that this is who I want to be -
how wonderul! - I'm sorry back to my narrative,
so after I'd been there a few minutes, I asked one of the girls to take my
picture, so Yeah!!!! That is me first time out in public - you have no idea
what a milestone in my life this is - I 'm still getting a grasp of it, because
at the time it was all so natural, and it seemed like no big deal, no earth shaking,
monumental, life changing event -but it was, and I'm totally off topic on my
narrative now, so anyways we talked, actually I listened mostly, it was a lovely
evening, of course I'll do it again, and they're arranging a Haloween event at
a local resteraunt, and so I have to figure out my Halloween costume!
I am totally open for suggestions, leave a comment if you have a good idea
for a costume, because I garauntee you, I really had not been planning on
being invinted to a Halloween party where I could dress up as a girl and
wear a costume, and hang around and chat with people like me and
everything - Oh my, it just sounds fantastic, and I haven't worn a costume
on Haloween since I was 10 years old.

Anyways some pictures of me one at the bar the others afterwards when
I got home, sorry about the throne, but obviously I'm just using it as a chair.
I'll throw in a couple rerun captions too, for the people who just want to
read the captions and move on

So I did it! And I am so very glad that I did, and now it's no big deal and
one moves on to the next hurdle. I'll go to church as a boy in a couple hours,
but my church still welcomes me regardless of what I would wear - I wouldn't
go to a church that didn't feel that away about trans people and cross dressers.
Then I'll go out jamming dressed as a guy (note how now I have to say this because
dressing as a guy sand going out and dressing as a girl and going out are both
realistic options for me now - and that is so very, very, amazing), and then
I'll go to work dressed as a boy, and that is not a choice, I dress as a boy
for work. But I think of myself as blessed for having this job, and having
a job made going out tonight possible so things are good.

Take Care,

Stacy

Update - today's interview went very well -curiously I have yet to do one
of these interviews were anyone mentions that I'm dressed as a woman
(maybe they don't notice?) I' m kidding but I was there for forty minutes
and the two men asked a lot questions and seemed interested and
so I have a good chance of getting a second interview, but nothing was
promised when I left so I keep actively looking, of course.

Go Vikes! the game hasn't started yet.  I sang in the choir today at church
-which was fun and not nearly as terrifying as I thought it'd be.
Last week the Pastor mentioned how there were no Trans people
in the choir, and so I fixed that problem.  I'm in the Tenor section
and practice is at 8, the service is at 10 and afterwards one goes
downstairs for a coffee and a salad and snack and chats a bit,
so it's a long day -but being in the choir makes the service go at
light speed.   Oh by the way, in case you wondered the people
who sing in the choir still have to pass the offering plate -we do
it during the sermon not the offeratory - but we don't get off
the hook that easy - oh well,

After service I walked around the arboreteum and then
drove the three mile loop for the fall color, which was nice
and I came at a good time because as I was leaving it got
really crowded.  I'm going back to the church for the blessing
of the pets and taking screwball with me to get her blessed.
So I'll miss the start of the Vikes game but I'll listen to it
on the way home and watch the end.

I thought writing a blog about looking for work as a trans
person would be a lot more interesting than it has turned out
to be -the truth of the matter is that I have been going to interviews
and some people are open to my being trans and some people
aren't but there is absolutely no reason, from my experience, not to
put on a nice skirt or a nice pair of slacks and makeup and walk
into an interview and expect to be treated respectfully, regardless
of what people may think, and the good companies are looking
for the best people and trans people can be the best people if
they apply themselves -so the point being, there really is no
significant difference between going to an interview dressed as
a man or dressed as a woman  -it's just not a big deal

So the basic premise of this blog, that there is something interesting
about me, a trans woman, looking for a job is flawed -I'm the same
as every body else - I just have better fashion sense

I'll still post once a week (on Sunday during Viking games - Go Vikes!)
but otherwise, I'm better off spending the time making phone calls,

Monday Update: A friend from school just got a part-time job YEAH!
I didn't hear back as a follow up on my last interview, I'll call back wed

Tuesday I see my psychiatrist and work the MNUnited phone banks a bit,
Wednesday I am going to a Job Fair
Thursday I have an interview set up
Friday is open so far
Saturday I'm seeing the Live Met broadcast of the Opera with my parents
Sunday I go to church (early now that I'm in the choir)

Next posting Sunday, unless I hear something

Wednesday Update -Tuesday saw my psychiatrist and then
spent the evening working the phone lines for MN United against
the marriage amendment - I wound up making about 30 calls recruiting
1 volunteer, getting 3 more people to commit to volunteering at other
locations (so someone has to call them back because I didn't have that
information) getting 4 wrong numbers, a whole host of not homes
(which was the most frustrating calls for me) and getting a person
who was giving me the religious arguments against children and gay
marriage, but as a trans person, I started talking about young trans
people who "try to celebrate there masculinity" as she put it and end up
committing suicide, and while I didn't change her mind on the amendment,
I at least got her to recognize that it's a lot better for young children who
are questioning their identity to have access to help adjusting than to
committing suicide -which is all too common in young trans people -
obviously the discussion detoured from the marriage issue to issues that
really matter to me and it was really striking how superficial these
arguments where when I mentioned that I had struggled with this for
years and knew several people who had tried to commit suicide and that
I now felt that in accepting that becoming  a woman was what God wanted
from me and she asked why would God want that, and I responded
honestly - "I don't know" but I went on to say that in trying to seek
help with this and trying to be a good person and living honestly that
I did think I was living the life I was meant to live - which is true and
I don't think she was convinced, but it's still the truth and so that's
kind of staid with me , that and I had tio park on the other side of Loring
Park and there was no way I was walking through Loring Park at 10 at night
so I wound up making a long walk in my skirt and heels on the sidewalks
and that was a little unpleasant (nobody bothered me it was just cold and
dark and too far to walk in heels)
Wednesday I went to the Job Fair and dropped off one resume so that
was pointless, then I went to a Open House for a recruiter and talked a bit
and dropped off a resume - and that was more useful -I wore a really
nice stretchy black skirt  - more an above the knees business skirt,
which is a little tight and long enough till one sits down, then it feels
really short - but with the purple velvet blouse and black pumps it
is a very nice outfit - I did get a call on Fridays interview
and there's going to be a SECOND INTERVIEW, but I just
have to wait to find out when - but that's looking very promising

I think the  next time I hear "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam
and Steve!" argument I'm coming back with "Yes but Jesus never
got married and slept with men" - which is completely factual,
and every bit as idiotic as her statement.

anyways I'm in drab today (ie dressed as a guy) - but I got to
thinking about the first dress I ever had - a size 12, paisley print
thing, that was stored in a box in the crawl space of my parents home.
I stumbled upon it accidentaly obviously:

it had rhinestones sewn in which I totally hated and spent a lot of time taking
those off, but at the time I first stumbled upon it - I remember the total thrill
as my pulse raced and my heart was pounding in my head -I immediately
went to the bathroom to try it on and it fit,  and I felt wonderful, this was in
early  October, add I was so excited and so overwhelmed by it all that I almost
did  put the dress on and go  out for Halloween that year (if I had a wig too, I'm
sure I would have) but in the end I chickened out -one, two or three years later
I remember actually taking a black skirt, a green pullover and panty hose in a brown
bag, boarding the train to Chicago and getting off (at Montrose?) finding a secluded
spot putting on the skirt and all (I was wearing tennis shoes -yuck) and walking
around a city block - a number of cars passed me and I walked past three guys
who initial reaction wasn't negative but one of them looked at my crotch area
which was erect and said "Oh gross" or something like that as they walked by,
so that horrible and I got back to where I'd left my clothes and changed back
into guy clothes and a minute or two later a squad car was driving by and at that
time one could get arrested for cross dressing in public, and I've always felt that
had I stayed dress a minute or two longer my life would have changed for ever
as a result of that arrest.  Anyways I remember the song My little town" by
Paul Simon had just come out and I really loved the lyrics and was singing the
lyrics in my head as I walked down the street :

In my little town 
I grew up believing 
God keeps his eye on us all 
And he used to lean upon me 
As I pledged allegiance to the wall 
Lord I recall my little town 
Coming home after school 
Riding my bike past the gates of the factories 
My mom doing the laundry 
Hanging out shirts in the dirty breeze 
And after it rains there's a rainbow 
And all of the colors are black 
It's not that the colors aren't there 
It's just imagination they lack 
Everything's the same back in my little town 

In my little town I never meant nothing 
I was just my father's son 
Saving my money 
Dreamin of glory 
Twitching like a finger on a trigger of a gun 

Nothing but the dead and dying back in my little town 
Nothing but the dead and dying back in my little town 
Nothing but the dead and dying back in my little town

so I Google, it and it's a 1975 song -which means I was 16
at the time, which means I was probably 13 or 14 when
I was wearing my first dress, but I had been wearing slips 
and pantyhose for several years before that -that was what
was so exciting about the dress -you can't wear a slip and
pantyhose out in public - but a dress I could actually see
myself going out in public as a woman, and that was really
exciting to me -so going back it was a long, long time between
the time I first put on a slip and the time I first wore a dress,
but it's hard to believe it was five years, it was certainly long
before my first male emission, several years before that
(because I was wearing a slip when that happened  spontaneously
So I've said I was 9 the  first time I wore woman's  clothing,
but actually I was probably 10 or 11.  Now I do remember 
sitting in the bathroom in a black slip and pantyhose reading
the Last Whole Earth Catalog (which was published is the
spring of 1971) and I would have been dressing for some 
time then -so that would again back that I was dressing in 1971/72
(when I was 12, but had been doing so for some time) so
I'm thinking it was 1969/1970, and I was 10 years old when I first started
dressing and wanting to be a woman - forty two years ago, wow
it just seems like forever

I followed my recruiters advice and  am wearing slacks, not
a skirt to the interview -right now  I'm letting my nails dry
as  I type  -so I'm  wearing  size 14 black slacks  with lighter
grey stripes,   a dark  purple blouse  and black pumps  -
I  used pink  lipstick  instead  of a red, and  grey eyeliner
instead  of black -  I  have  1.5 hours until the interview starts.

yeh,  I'm  a little nervous


Update  -  the  interview went very well, there could be a
second interview next week, even as early as Monday
(I hope)

Otherwise   I'm  back in drab to  take  my  mother  to  the doctors
for a  routine  visit,  and I'm not  planning on dressing Saturday  (sigh
all  alone on a Saturday night,  sigh)
Of course I'll be dressed Sunday for church

I got add this, I just sent this Bio to my music partner - I redacted some
information but I think it's kind of cool and kind of funny:

[my legal name] was born in  Chicago and started learning  Blues harmonica
with Joe Filisko.a recognized harmonica master. In  2001, G____ received a  
$7,000 Fellowship from the State of  Illinois for playwriting, and used the money
 to "get the Hell out of Illinois".  Moving to Minneapolis, G____ continued

studies with Clint Hoover, another recognized  harmonica master.  

G____ recorded with "Little Bobby and Storm" as the solo artist on the song 

"Worried" off Little Bobby's first CD and played 12 blues festivals with him, 

including the Fargo Blues Fest, the Winter Fargo Blues Fest, The Last Ride Blues Festival,. 

and the prestigious Upper Mississippi Valley Blues Fest (this performance was 

rebroadcast on the Beale Street Caravan radio show).  G____ recent performances

include a half hour set in drag with Blues Afternoon at the Minneapolis Pride festival, 

and several performances with P____ D____(not in drag, well, most of the time). 

In Addition to playing harmonica for fun, G____ has written a Blues Musical, called 

"Catfish Bones, a Love Song to the Blues" G___ thinks referring to himself as G____ is 

really pompous, but G____ does it anyways.

and as a political thought -Obama pledged to take out Osama Bin Laden 

and Mitt Romney pledged to take out Big Bird

I took a test for a local city government position Wednesday
night -it is being held over two days to take all the applicants
for 5 open positions -300 people are applying -they were
initially expecting 800 but only 300 applied -probably 50
or so didn't show up for the test -so there were about 100
people taking the test Wednesday and another 100 or so
will take it tonight. Anyways, there were 100 guys taking the
test, white men in their thirties and forties -there were three
women, about four people of color and exactly one openly
transexual person in her tan skirt,gold sweater, and tan leather
open toed booties with the 4" heels -yeh, that would be me.

The test was held at Normandale Community college (and
after the test I wandered around the Japanese Gardens there,
on the campus,they are absolutely lovely on a calm October night)

So I showed up and no one talked to me, but then 100 unemployed
men don't want to be seen as "gay" when applying for a maintenance
position and they are scared -they're really scared they don't talk to
each other because the other men are just like them ( ie unemployed
white men who are what Mitt Romney would call victims who
don't pay taxes and collect unemployment handouts from the
government ) -I seriously can't imagine being in a room with
100 women and 30 minutes to kill and not "networking": with
at least two other women, but in a room with 100 men not one
person is talking - and that is the definition of scared -when you sit
there in your seat away from every one else, silently, waiting,
not wanting to be noticed just wanting to sit silently take the test
and leave - it's a very disturbing image - I literally can't imagine
sitting in a room with 100 women and two women not finding
something to talk about, heck I can't imagine me sitting in a room
with a 100 women and not talking to someone -that's what
normal people do

anyways I was a little uncomfortable being in a skirt around all those
men, but mainly because every one was so uncomfortable with
the whole test process , and while taking the test, which was
multiple guess I screwed up big time and put literally about 60
answers in the wrong slots -I got out of sequence and when I
went back to check my answers at the end they were all wrong,
which was horrible, so frantically I erased just about everything
with my #2 pencils and put the right answers in (and I have a
good memory for test questions -I didn't have to rethink the questions,
just glance at it and fill in the dots -it only took about 10 minutes the
second time thru, but there was a pile of eraser pieces on my skirt when
stood up to hand in my test, and I'm so glad I caught it because otherwise
I just would ave been that silly you-know-what who showed up in
a skirt and got every answer wrong and was just a joke, and now instead
I'm someone who showed up as a serious candidate for the position,
and whether I get the position or not, they have to take me seriously.



Update: I have an interview Friday morning -I have a really excellent chance
at this ob if I interview well - the person setting it up wants me to wear a pants
suit (which I don't own) or slacks instead of a skirt - and I'm going to go along
with that, but I really want to wear a skirt to the interview, I sort of feel like
I'm selling out, but I need a good job and tat's what's important and I'm still
going to wear womans' slacks and blouse and pumps and makeup and all
that so it's not like I'm a total sellout -but dang! I really wanted to wear
a skirt to the interview -honestly I am incredibly thankful for this interview,
I just really wanted to wear a skirt

it's my puppies birthday so in honor of screwball:

I might have to go out and buy a lottery ticket -

I just got the call that my prescriptions all straightened

out with the insurance company-I can go pick it up now,

but I have to get ready for a test I'm taking at 6:30 for

a city job, the pressures off a bit because I got a call

about an hour ago about a job prospect I'm really 

excited about -the interview will be Friday morning,

just setting the time now.  Got an email this morning

the band is practicing tomorrow (practices have been

hard to schedule lately) cashed a check so I had money,

so I had a dutch garden pancake breakfast at a local

restaurant (very rare occurance) I sent an email to the 

music director at my church I'm going to try practicing

with the choir (singing in public is a big fear for me, but

I think I can handle it these days) and tomorrow,

October 4th is my puppy dog's birthday, so

all in all - it's a pretty good day and like I said

why not buy a lottery ticket on a day like this.

(it's worth a shot)

I've interviewed a lot over the years and it's a pretty safe bet that if
you interview lasts 45 minutes or more you've got a real good shot
at getting hired, if it lasts less than 15 minutes, you don't have a chance
in Hell - my interview lasted 10 minutes, and they were rushing through
the interview questions so fast the two guys were stumbling over themselves
to get the interview over with - but I was polite and well qualified, and
there will be other interviews with other companies.

So, feeling a little bummed I was driving back home and because of road
construction I had to pass my former therapists office.  Now way back
about 2 years ago I went to a female gender therapist in St Paul who was
an absolute disaster, just hopelessly insensititive and incompentant and
after four sessions I terminated the sessions because they were making me
physically ill they were so bad.

several months later I decided I really needed a therapist and I went to one
who serves the gay and lesbian community and I liked her as a therapist but
I did not want to talk about any trans-related issues (which is sort of
the 500 pound gorilla in the room) so she was helpful, but I didn't
get as much out of it as if I'd been more honest, but I was coming off
a really bad experience, and was still trying to find some way to live
the rest of my life as a guy, albeit a gay guy, anyways I ran out of money
and had to stop seeing her, but I liked her as a therapist, not as much as
I really like my current psychiatrist but I liked her, and she helped me out,
so anyways I was detoured right past her office today, so I decided it
was Fate and stopped in and said hi, which was fun.

then I went to a half price book store and bought three books, each for
$2 - a book on aviation history, a book on drawing human anatomy,
and a healthy eating cookbook - so three books not one about gay
people or trans people or anything like that - Ignorance is bliss.
(I glanced at some books in the gay and trans section, they just
didn't seem that interesting -I'd love to read an interesting book
about trans people or gay people, and I know that trans people
and gay people are interesting, but the books about them aren't).

I texted a joke to a Romney supporting friend before my interview:
Q: What does a 52 year old man from Minneapolis call wearing
a black skirt, a purple blouse and high heels to job interview?
A: Dressing Conservatively.

well I thought I was dressed conservatively, and I looked nice.
I'm going to do the phone bank for the MNUnited campaign
tonight at my church (against the amendment to prohibit
same sex marriage)

Oh, the second picture is Swamp Dog, I took it of her yesterday
during our walk.

Update -I'm getting ready for my phone banking -so I'm double
dressing today (getting in makeup twice in one day) for the first
time in a very long time for a very obvious reason (it's a lot of
screwing around)  -I'm not sure what I'm going to wear but I
want to wear my platforms

My doctor emailed me that she's working on a prior authorization
to take care of the prescription issue -so for now, I wait........

Interview #3  today. I'm leaving in a couple minutes, and
I'll update how it goes -same outfit as yesterdays interview.

I had a problem with my eyeliner, and I wound up having
to take off about 90% of it with the baby lotion,  take out
a contact lens and get the black out and use some foundation
to clean it up -it sounds terrible, but actually in the end it looks
pretty good, but I'll take off makeup and redo it before I go
out again because after an hour or two  it might not look so good.

I didn't want to wear a lot of makeup to the interview, but I wore
foundation, eyeliner, mascara and lipstick and I did my nails, and of
course I was wearing a dark purple blouse, black skirt and black
pumps.  I took this picture in the conference room while I was waiting
(only a minute or two).

The interview was with a recruiter and so partly it was just a chance to
see me and do a face to face after they'd checked my references, and
partly I brought it on myself by mentioning over the phone that I
would be wearing a skirt (I won't go into my reasoning -but basically,
since the recruiter hasn't seen me and is sending me in to see someone
from another company -I had previously decided to tell her I was trans
over the phone ( I have a pretty male voice, use a male name and some
of my references have never seen me as a woman -so the possibility of
not realizing I am trans is very high) )

So I met really briefly and found out the position is contract for several months
(by which time the company will either hire me or I will have changed my gender
marker to female, my name to Stacy, and I will be living as a woman and looking
for work as a female engineer with actual experience so my prospects could be
pretty good in that situation - actually both me and the recruiter think the
position I am going for is an ideal position ( and being a technical position in
an office I could wear skirts and heels every day - which would be really
fun and terribly expensive) there is also health care after 60 days.

The interview went extremely well and they're going to pass my name
along, and they think it's an excellent match (the company does hire trans
people too)   -so I'm pretty excited about this

I have a job interview in the morning Tuesday and then I have a test for
a city position on Wednesday night -so I'm hoping I can keep busy with
the job search now that I've started it for real.

I was joking before I went on first interview with a couple guys about
how I'd dreamed my entire life about going on an interview in a skirt,
and now that I've done it a couple times -I don't know if it's all that exciting,
but getting the job - oh my that's very exciting if I can get that.

PS -I've got half my prescription and I took that today,
but I'm still "up in the air" on the other half - hopefully soon,
but going off hormones yesterday was psycollogically kind of
creepy actually - I mean I struggled so much with the decision
and am totally committed now and to just stop cold turkey like
that was really not how I want to proceed - patience, patience,
and keep bugging everyone until it's resolved.....

I'll update afterwords but I have an 11:30 interview today.
I have to get dressed -black skirt, purple velvet top, black pumps,
I think. this is my second time interviewing en femme, but I have
but I have a real shot at this one

 Go Vikes! another win.  I actually only listened to the last 10 minutes but it
sounded exciting (if you are a Viking fan) I went to Sunday service then
had a Trans Ministry meeting (which included Pizza! - I love Pizza)
the I went over to the James Ford Bell Museum at the U of M, which
is free on Sundays.   I took a few phone photos to illustrate what a cool
museum this is.  I wore my navy blue pencil skirt, deep purple blouse,
and black pumps.

The big news right now is my prescription for hormones ran out yesterday,
so I had nothing to take this morning. Hopefully I'll get this sorted out Monday.
if not I might have to change the title of the blog to "Who's the old guy?"
but like you can see from the top photos so far the damage is minimal

Last night's gig went well and I'm going to go cash that check -it's small,
but any cash helps now.  I may be dressed Monday (if I can arrange
an interview) I'll certainly be dressed Tuesday for an interview then I'll
man the phone banks for MNUnited against the stupid amendment.

I am approaching exactly 1 year of dressing and going out in public,
so on Oct 8th I'm going to republish the initial blog  (from my old,
deceased blog - Transformative Honeymoons) about going out
for the first time and just before that I'm going to post a simplified
guide summarizing how I'd go about getting the clothes and makeup
and all that if I was to do it again with the benefit of what I know now
(I'm not saying I'm an expert or anything, I'm just going to post how
I would go about dressing up and going out, knowing what I know now)

I can't sleep - my hormone prescription run outs today until the insurance
issue is settled and hopefully that's early this upcoming week, and I am
setting up an interview with a recruiter for a position -we're going to have
a face to face interview, so I have to decide when I'm on the phone with
her whether to tell her I'm wearing a skirt to the interview or whether to just
show up and let her see this when I get there.  I've pretty much decided to show
up and if she wants to talk about clothes, well that's OK but it's not very relevant
to the job and the job is what I want to talk about.

anyways - I was in drab yesterday and in drab today - but I'll be dressed up for
church on Sunday -today I'm going to a Sat morning jam then I have a paying
gig tonight- yeah.

yesterday I did the annual fall colors trip with my parents which is literally
a family tradition, and as it is a family tradition it must be performed exactly
as described, in the exact sequence as described and as such I wanted to
document it for my own memory (NB -technically it should take place on the
weekend closest to Oct 15th which in our tradition is always the peak of fall
colors, but I am hoping to be working by then so we went a couple weeks
early)
So the first step is to take my mom and dad and the dog and drive a little
over an hour to St Croix Falls and take the paddle boat tour (the paddle boat
allows leashed dogs) -because of low water in the river the tour is 45 minutes
now but normally it is 90 minutes and here are some pictures off my phone:

net on the agenda is to pull out of Interchange park and make a wrong turn then turn
around and go the other way and head over the river to Wisconsin and drive
down to a park overlooking a hydroelectric dam on the St Croix river:

 Next is to drive a bit further down the river to a landing that is totally out of the way and
really in the middle of nowhere - but years ago my father would take our last dog here and let
her run around and take a long hike -now of course he's in a wheel chair and Casey passed
away about 6 years ago, and he can't get very far in the wheelchair on a rough trail, but
it's tradition, and it's kind of a nice tradition even if  now it's just pulling into a parking lot
in the middle of nowhere and making a brief stop there -it's called Spangler's Landing:

Finally we stop at the St Croix Dairy Queen drive thru get large Snicker's blizzards,
and a vanilla puppy cup for the dog, and eat the Blizzard on the drive home

6 or 7 hours later I'm home and just too tired to get all dolled up and go out, so I called
it a day.

Like I said it's tradition -the last three years were exactly the same and hopefully the
next few years will be exactly the same

that's me about two years ago and that's me now -I just got a message from
the pharmacy that they are denying my prescription for the hormones.
The insurance is not willing to pay for it because the dosage was changed
by the doctor. I started on hormones a couple months ago and it's like f*#k
what do I do now, with out the prescription?
They're going to call my doctor - but I don't know what's going on,
I mean initially, I was supposed to go on a low dosage to see that I could handle
the medicine before increasing it -now the insurance is denying the increased
dosage the doctor recommends and f*#k! - the low dosage isn't going to do anything
so there's no point staying on the low dosage.

To top it off , rather than calling my cell phone they called my parents
phone number (I guess because it's listed as an emergency contact) but
f*#k - I told my mom several months ago that I would be going on hormones,
but I didn't tell her when I actually started, partly because I wanted to have the
option to change my mind if I didn't think it was the right thing to do when
I got into it, and partly because while she's supported me on this to some
extent it's not a 100% support and some things are my business honestly.
anyways, what an effing mess.

I got dressed up in my brown skirt, purple top, and brown ankle high
booties and drove to the church for a Wednesday night session on Homosexuality
in the Bible which was interesting and I was in a good mood until I got
hit with this - f*#k! nothing I can do about it tonight.

Update - I haven't heard anything back yet on the prescription, but I do have
an interview scheduled for Tuesday and the pay is really good - this will be
my 2nd interview where I am showing up in a skirt and the 2nd time I'm not
telling them I'm showing up in a skirt - and why should I? I don't mention
how tall I am or how my nose is too big or I weigh too much or that I'm thinning
out on top or stuff like that -it's got nothing to do with doing my job and neither
does my wearing a skirt - besides in another interview or two I'm going to start
believing my own spiel that it really doesn't matter if I wear a skirt to the interview
if I'm the best person to do the job -and I why shouldn't I believe it? it's true.
I'm in guy mode today and I'm going to go ahead and finish off the day this
way (I know -yuck) and tomorrow I'm going with my mom and dad
of a scenic drive and boat tour for the fall colors - but by friday night, I may
be just dying to put on something pretty and hit the bars before my gig (in
guy mode) on Saturday and of course I dress up for church on Sunday
(I just typo'd Sunday as Sinday, hmmmm there's a thought...)

Friday morning update - I still haven't heard anything on the insurance for
the prescription -  nothing at all - which totally sucks but all I can
do is wait -anyways, I'm going on-line for a couple hours to do some
job hunting, but I did a gag caption which I might explain why I did this
someday (the back story is better than the caption) but anyways it's
the Maytag repairman in a Romney for President office in Minnesota:

I started the day at Como Park - the bottom picture is in the Bonsai room
which is one favorite things to see there, but I was over in St Paul to
see my psychiatrist and basically tell him everything is going pretty good
right now because basically everything is going pretty good, then I had a few
hours before my other appointment with my Ob-Gyn.  So I went over to the
Walker Sculpture Garden (home of the giant spoon) then I went over the bridge
and walked over to Loring Park (where Pride was held and where I played with
my band in my black dress) and I walked over to the stage area just to see what
it is like now - and now it's just an empty patch of grass and my memories.

then I went to my doctor and this is my second visit so I reported truthfully that
everything seems to be going well, and the previous tests confirm that.
Since I am  doing well on the low initial dosages the dosages will be increased
to what is probably the level I will be taking for the rest of my life - and  now
the changes should be coming a lot quicker and maybe be actually noticeable.

So that starts October when I pick up next months prescription , and so
that should be interesting, but things are really going well, so it'll be fine.